Finding Lolita Inspiration

( I JUST realized I hadn't made a single post yet this month. So sorry! I also apologize for this post not being about Mothers Day and for the fact that I still cannot post comments. I do read all of the comments and appreciate them, I just can't write back, sorry! )

 Ever feel bored with Lolita fashion? Before you post a "Leaving Lolita" sale on the sales comm, read through these tips to make sure you aren't just in need of a little Loli inspiration!

Watch Lolita Youtube videos

Here is a link to a playlist of Lolita videos I like to watch and take inspiration from, there are lots of Loli videos on Youtube and they are great for getting new ideas. You could come up with a new coordinate just by seeing someone else's, or feel like wearing your frills again when you see someone else having fun in theirs!

Look at some Lolita Tumblers

Little Lolita Moments, Lolita memes and You Know You're a Lolita When are only a few of the many Lolita Tumblers out there. Not only will you get a little laugh, you might just remember why you got into the fashion in the first place. Just looking at some of the Lolitas on Tumblr is also a wonderful inspiration, so many beautiful coordinates! 

Get some new clothes

 You might just be bored with wearing the same things. You don't have to purchase anything expensive, there are dresses from Bodyline for just 41 dollars ( and that's including shipping! ) and plenty of accessories just waiting for you at the mall. Just looking through a website that sells Lolita things can inspire you!

Give yourself a break

Maybe all you need is a little break from the fashion and subculture. That's perfectly fine, no one says you have to be a Lolita 24/7! 

Experiment

Perhaps you're sick of seeing the same old styles of Lolita. If so, why not try creating your own? Don't be afraid to experiment! Play with your clothes, see what works and looks good together, then wear it! Lolita fashion itself wouldn't be here if the ones who came up with it were afraid of wearing something new.

Make a list of what you love about Lolita

Make a list of your favorite parts of Lolita fashion. It could be anything - rose prints on classic dresses, Mary Jane shoes, a particular color or fabric you love, anything. Once you have that list, you know what you love the most and you might just have your inspiration for a coordinate! 

If you still end up feeling like you don't want to wear Lolita anymore, don't feel bad about it. Sometimes people change their styles and there is nothing wrong with that, but for your own sake, don't give up all of your Lolita clothes! You probably worked hard to get them and if you ever want to return to the fashion you don't want to have to start from scratch all over again! At least keep your favorite dress or skirt, one pair of shoes ( ones in white or black that will go with a lot, or your favorite pair ), one pair of bloomers, a white blouse and at least one petticoat if not two.

More changes

We all know that life changes and sometimes it takes a completely different turn than you expected. No, I am definitely not quitting Lolita, but my life is changing and I thought I should make it clear because this blog will probably change too.

First of all, summer is coming. And I live in Texas. So yeah, it's going to get very, very hot, very soon. Which means from now on I either have to wear pretty casual Loli coordinates ( Which never seems to work out for me because somehow they all end up not so casual... ) or just dressing cute. Therefore I will still continue buying Lolita, but I will probably also try out some cooler ( in a literal sense! ) fashions such as fairy kei or just my own cute kind of style. So don't be surprised if I make a post that has nothing to do with Lolita fashion, but some other sort of fashion instead. I probably won't do that often as I still love Lolita the most, but I might do it sometimes.

Second, I start a tumbling class tomorrow ( a type of gymnastics ) and not only will that take up a lot of my time, it takes up a lot of my money too. The rest of my money ( besides tithe ) will usually be devoted to purchasing more clothing, speaking of which I have just ordered an adorable new dress and whenever it gets here I will definitely be doing a review! I'll probably also have to learn to sew to add more clothes to my Lolita wardrobe because of my lack of money, but oh well. :)

Finding the time for Lolita

If you're like me, then a lot of your daily activities require more practical clothing than the frills and poof that make up Lolita fashion. Exercising, chores and sometimes even shopping cannot be done while wearing Lolita. What's a Rufflebutt to do? When can one ever find the time to feel like a princess in such a busy world?

Hopefully this will help.

Tone it down a little...or a lot.

Casual Lolita or simply wearing a nice blouse with a good pair of jeans are better than no Rori at all and can still make you feel cute. Add some adorable accessories if your time and activities will allow them, even just a cute necklace with otherwise normal clothing can make your day a little brighter.

Paint your nails

Paint them, decorate them or just put on fake nails. This simple touch ( hopefully ) won't be too time consuming and will make any outfit, no matter how casual, cuter.

Wear Lolita when you go shopping or to church

It may seem silly to get all dressed up just to go shopping or to wear something like Lolita to church, but I must admit that I enjoy doing these things. If you don't feel comfortable in full out Lolita, you could always tone it down or just wear some cute accessories instead. Depending on what church you might attend, it might not be accepted as much as it should be ( especially Gothic Lolita, unfortunately, with the stereotypes surrounding Goth ) but you really should think about trying it out. I wear Lolita very frequently to church or at least something cute and I always get kind reactions to it and I hope it works out that well for you too! It will also make you look forward to each coming Sunday and being able to wear your frills out.

Wear a nightgown to bed

If you can't find the time to wear Lolita during the day, you can still wear something frilly and beautiful at night, even if it's just to bed.

Plan when to wear Lolita

 If all else fails, just make some space in your schedule to wear Lolita for a day. You could plan to go out for a  nice walk at the park, or you could just stay at home and rest in your favorite dress. 

What is most important to remember is that you don't have to wear Lolita all the time, so don't feel bad if you don't have time to wear it today or even just don't feel like it. Just have fun when you do have the time to wear it!

I Dare You

To use a term from Elementary school, I double-dog-dare you to be creative with your Lolita style.

I love the styles we already have, Classic, Gothic, Sweet, Kuro, Guro, you name it. Lolita has a style for every girl. Or is that so? It's true that Lolita fashion is very varied, but it's also true that it could be more varied. Lolita has some very unique styles, which is why it surprises me that sometimes when someone wants to try something new with the style, their ideas are shot down. "No, that could never work with Lolita, don't even bother trying it!" I'm sure this is what some people thought of Punk Lolita before it gained popularity.

So, I dare you to make your own style. I'm not saying you shouldn't wear what's already been invented of course, but why not be creative? You don't have to get it perfect the first time, you don't even have to post pictures of it online, just do it for you.

Or instead of creating your own style, why not wear one you've never tried before because you've been too afraid? If you love Sweet Lolita but are past your 20's, why not try it on anyway? Even if you aren't Asian, who says you can't wear Wa Loli? Even if someone has said you can't wear it, who cares?

My point is, if we shouldn't care about what other people think about how we dress, shouldn't that include other Lolitas? Of course you should listen to constructive criticism, but at the end of the day, how you dress is up to you. Not even other Lolitas have the right to tell you "No, you can't wear that.".

Bullying and the Lolita Community

I'm sure you've all heard of the Lolita hate "communities" out there. You know, where you can go and either anonymously bully other Lolitas back into submission, or gang up on them and do it all together. Hmmm...cowardly much? Then again, that's what bullies are, cowards.
I'm sick and tired of all the immature hatred that is going around, and I'm just going to be completely frank about it.

First of all, if you've ever been bullied by other Lolitas ( Or anyone for that matter ), don't worry about it. Everyone has made mistakes, INCLUDING those who have the nerve to bully others for making mistakes, and no one has the right to tell anyone else they aren't worthy of being a Lolita because of it. Don't let their "lolier than thou" attitude get to you and don't be afraid to try new things, at the end of the day your opinions matter just as much as theirs.

Second, if you yourself have a problem with another Lolita, just talk to THEM about it. There is no need to publicly humiliate them, it won't make the situation better and it certainly won't make you feel any better. It's not wrong to disagree with someone else or dislike something that they said or did, but bullying is wrong. You never know who might be struggling in real life - regardless of what they've done no one deserves to be bullied and hated, especially for things as trivial as a fashion and the internet.

Third, I'm not trying to pretend to be perfect myself, it's not as though I've never said a cruel word to someone else, but I've regretted it and so will anyone else who does the same thing. Sooner or later, you will regret it, and they will resent you for it. It won't get you anywhere either, would you listen to someone who humiliated and criticized you harshly? No, you wouldn't. There's a reason people are willingly to accept constructive criticism and not harsh criticism. If you want to tell someone that you feel they have done something wrong, do it nicely and you will get a million times farther than you would being hateful towards them.

And lastly, like I said, I'm not trying to pretend I myself am perfect. I don't wish to preach, I simply, like many others, wish for an end to the hatred of our own Lolita kind.

If you TL;DR - Practice what you learned in Kindergarten and treat others how you would like to be treated, because we've ALL made dumb mistakes.

How Lolita Changed Me

I should have done this on International Lolita day, I'm sorry!

Anyway, I really think God has put Lolita fashion in  my life for a reason. This fashion has definitely changed me - for the better. Before I found Lolita fashion I dabbled in various other styles, I liked them but it still felt like a part of me, my style, was missing. Self expression through fashion is important to me, it always has been, but nothing really fit until the day I discovered Sweet Lolita. The fashions I'd tried out before are probably what gave me the confidence to try wearing Lolita, I was pretty much used to being given weird looks. The first time I tried on my first outfit ( the pictures of which I look at and cringe today ) I finally felt like this was me, this was what I was created to wear, I'd finally found my style! From that day forth, I never felt right wearing anything else. I was far more into vintage clothing as well, and now I pay more attention to the little details in my outfit than I ever did before. Lolita has made me more responsible as well, I started earning a bit of money doing chores for my parents and saved it up until I had enough to buy what I'd been saving up for. Before Lolita, I didn't really save my money at all, I just went out and shopped. Lolita has definitely taught me patience as well as hard work, it has raised my confidence and allowed me to overcome some things I didn't think I could. I'm very thankful for this fashion and also thankful for my family supporting me becoming a Lolita.

How has Lolita changed you?

Lolita becoming... mainstream?

This may be an old topic but I'm going to discuss it anyways because some people still have an issue with this.

As Lolita gains popularity and even celebrities try out the fashion, there has always been a fear among Lolitas of the fashion becoming... *gasp* MAINSTREAM.  I find this fear ridiculous.

Our Lolita world will not be destroyed if more people gain interest in the fashion. For those of you worried about more "itas" walking around, how well did you dress when you tried on your first fashion? I wince to look at pictures of myself in my first Lolita outfit, not a bad attempt but not true Lolita. As for the fear of posers, how can we know someone's true intentions by a glance? It's like seeing a Goth who happens to be hanging out at the mall and labeling them a mall Goth immediately, especially when they shop at Hot Topic. What a crime, actually finding good clothes and accessories at the mall. I came across this link today through a list of Lolita tutorials, it's a very old thread but it still made me angry. To think we should have the powers to pick and choose who is "worthy" of Lolita is laughably ridiculous. What are we becoming, Lolita hipsters?

If Lolita became "mainstream", I think that would be a good thing. As it is, anyone who wishes to join the fashion has the freedom to do so, so why would we want to start limiting that freedom if it became more popular? Because it would be less unique? Ladies, think about it. We're already wearing a fashion that lots of other people in other countries are wearing. It's not that unique, and honestly I'm going to be a bit blunt here, if you're only wearing the fashion to be "different" from the mainstream ( by wearing a fashion that other people are already wearing, hmmm... not that different after all. ) then I don't see that as a very good reason to wear Lolita at all.


If Lolita became mainstream, it would be more widely available. A lot of Lolitas budgets would be thankful for that, I know mine would, and a lot more people would be introduced to this wonderful fashion that we already know and love. What would be so wrong with that? We've already found happiness with this fashion, why keep that happiness all to ourselves? Not to mention you could walk down the street in Lolita and get a lot less odd stares.

There might be a lot more "itas" walking around, but you know, that's what the internet is for. They'd be bound to see all the different Lolita guides and tutorials here and even if they didn't follow them, would the rise of itas really make the true Lolitas go into hiding or something? I doubt it. We don't want people to judge us unfairly for what we wear, why do the same thing to someone else?

So now I've put my two cents in about that. And I'm wondering how a hipster Lolita coordinate would look...

Courage

I'm back from my super-short hiatus! Ha, just a day later... *blush* I really thought I'd need more time to feel well enough to update  my blog after the emotional stress I've been under lately. Guess I bounce back pretty fast. o_o"

Anyways, I want to talk about something that really, really bugs me.

I really dislike it when people say "I love Lolita fashion, and I would wear it, but I live in ___. If I wanted to wear Lolita, I'd have to move to Japan!" Oh, really? Lolita is a growing fashion trend, more and more people know about it every day, and there are lots of Lolitas in countries other than Japan, and even in Japan, Lolitas are a minority. So if you feel that you can't wear Lolita because you don't live in Japan, let me ask you this - ...Who's stopping you? The answer is simple, ( Unless you happen to be under eighteen and your parents are stopping you, but I've covered this topic in the past and I might do that again in the future. ) you are the only one preventing yourself from wearing what you want to. No, it's not the person who might make fun of you, or glare at you, or laugh at you, it's you. I've said it before and I'll say it again, being a Lolita takes courage. Lots of Lolitas, absolutely no better than you are, wear Lolita regularly or perhaps even every day in places where it may not be socially accepted. They do not possess some sort of magical ability that allows them to wear the fashion without being stared at or mocked, they are people just like you. From my own experience, it's not nearly as bad as all the horror stories you might hear about Lolitas getting harassed, those are rare occurrences. Usually ( Again, from my own experiences. ) people will either simply stare, or actually go up to you and compliment you on what you are wearing!

So which would be worse, taking a little chance and wearing what makes you happy regardless of who might dislike it, or changing yourself to fit into societies little cookie cutter mold of what a girl like you should be? Which will make you happy? Just think about it.

Why I love Lolita Fashion.

There isn't just one reason for me to say why exactly I love this fashion that's so far from the mainstream and the everyday. I can't just say, "I love it because it's so ___".

This may sound completely ridiculous to some of you, but I love it because, well... I feel like it's a part of me that I was missing before. Yes, that's crazy, Lolita has no magical powers or anything like that, it's just clothes. I know. But I really feel that way.

After discovering Lolita, if I can't wear Lolita out when I go somewhere for any reason, I have a hard time deciding what to wear. I just don't feel like myself in anything else.  I'll be completely honest, I want to always be wearing Lolita. Of course that's not always practical and I won't always be wearing Lolita, but it's definitely a goal of mine to go at least one week wearing only Lolita fashion.

A lot of girls see Lolita as a sort of escapism, some girls just wear it because they like it, some girls have a Lolita lifestyle, there's nothing wrong with any of those things. Personally, I like it for a lot of reasons.

The Freedom

Living in the modern day society where anything out of the norm is basically shunned and the people who aren't ordinary are "freaks", the freedom of being able to wear a dress featuring teddy bears or unicorns or basically anything you want is very refreshing. Honestly, I feel like - "Yes, I'm dressed like a doll and wearing a giant bow on my head. So what, I'm a Lolita!" Isn't that just an amazing feeling? To know that you are dressed out of the ordinary and that people are probably staring... but not to care?

The Self Expression

I consider this a bit different from just the freedom of wearing Lolita, the freedom to me is basically how good it feels to be able to wear something you know is outrageous without caring, the self expression part is actually wearing what expresses your unique personality. Which, yeah, is pretty different than just wearing clothes different from the mainstream just for the sake of being "different". If we all did that, we wouldn't be very different, now would we? ;)
Anyways, I am a girl who loves...well...everything cute! I want to express that, I want to express my love of teddy bears and unicorns and Alice in Wonderland, ect. ect. Lolita gives me a chance to do that! When I'm in a different mood, I can dress Country, Gothic, Punk, you name it. I love all the different types of Lolita and the fact that you can put your love of just about anything into a Lolita outfit and therefore, express yourself!

The Modesty

Lolita is inherently modest, and you know what? I love that about it! Some people seem to think that you could never get a date while wearing a fashion like Lolita. I for one wouldn't want to date a guy who only likes me based on how I dress. You don't have to wear revealing clothes to be attractive, and it certainly doesn't show much respect for your own body not to have any privacy. I'm not advocating the harassment of women who do dress that way, not at all, regardless of how someone is dressed you shouldn't harass them. I'm just saying that beauty is not measured by how little clothing you are wearing, and I think Lolita fashion proves that!

Dressing up

Sometimes I don't like to take the time to put the clothes on, fix my hair, put on makeup, do my nails, ect. but on the other hand, it can be really fun just taking some time to pamper yourself. In a society that makes loving yourself seem selfish, it's fun just to get away from all of that and just to have fun dressing up like a princess or a doll or whatever you want to be! Which leads me to...

The Fantasy

A lot of girls feel like princesses while wearing Lolita, or they just feel powerful. Or both! I've heard it said that Lolita clothing is a Lolita's armor, with it she can go out into the world and conquer anything! That's how I feel about it. When I wear it, I feel strong. I feel like nothing can hurt me. Lolita is a form of escapism for many girls, or a shield of armor. It takes strength to be a Lolita, to overcome the fear that people will laugh at your or not take you seriously. Lolita pretty much is a strength, and for some girls, it's a fantasy and a means of escaping reality for awhile, a sanctuary. I guess there is a bit of "magic" in Lolita after all!


Well I guess that pretty much covers it. Aside from the obvious of course - I like how it looks. That right there is a good enough reason to wear it. lol But that's not the only reason I wear it so I thought I'd list all of them.
Why do you like Lolita fashion?

Staying Inside the Lines

When you are young, you are taught that you can be whoever you want to be. Follow your dreams! Don't be afraid to be who you really are! As you grow older however, you are expected to be just like everyone else.

Where does this change come? At what point is it decided that since you are no longer young enough, you can't dress a certain way, think a certain way, or have fun like you used to? No more dressing in cute clothes, you have to dress sexy. No more playing, daydreaming or pretending, imagination is to childish for you now. When you turn eighteen, do your interests magically change into something more "mature" and socially acceptable? No. And it sounds ridiculous to think they do, doesn't it?

Of course your tastes will probably change as you grow older. You will lose interest in certain things and gain interest in others, that's only natural. But what if someone still likes a lot of the things they used to as a little girl? Is that so bad? Does it really make them immature to still have their collection of stuffed animals, or enjoy climbing trees, or playing with dolls, or dressing like one? In my opinion, maturity is being able to take responsibility for yourself and having respect for others, not having interests that are considered mature by the rest of society. You can be a perfectly mature adult, and still love the things you did when you were a child. It does not mean you are living in a fantasy world, it means you are exactly who you want to be. Who says you have to lose the imagination you had when you were a kid? Who says you have to give up on having fun, or following your dreams, or even just dressing the way you want to?

I don't care if you are one hundred years old, there is no reason you shouldn't be able to follow your dreams and do what you want to. Anyone who says otherwise is probably just bitter that they themselves don't have the courage to do what they want. It's easy to give into what society wants you to be, to fit into that little cookie cutter mold that they want you to fit into, it's hard to be who you are in a society that shuns anything and anyone who is different from them. It takes real courage to not give up and to stand up for yourself and what you believe. Could you truly be happy living a lie by not being who you really are? It may be the easier way... but it will never make you happy.

No one has the right to tell you who to be, how to dress, or what to think. In the end, that's up to you.


Love, Amelia Jane.

Younger Lolitas

It's back to school time again! So I have decided to share my thoughts on younger Lolitas and hopefully give some helpful advice for them.

First and foremost - there simply is no age limit on Lolita, young or old. Why should there be an age limit on wearing what you love? But for younger Lolitas, it may be harder to be a part of the fashion.

The first obstacle there is, is the obvious money issue, you probably won't be able to convince your parents to buy you expensive brand dresses on a whim. However, it may be easier to convince them to let you earn the money to buy the clothes you want, perhaps from cheaper places such as Bodyline or while you save up for more expensive things like brand. A few things you could do are babysitting, getting paid for doing chores around the house, mowing lawns, ect. There are a lot of things younger Lolitas could do for a bit of money, but be patient! Lolita fashion is expensive and it takes time to save up for it.You could also learn how to sew, this also takes plenty of time and patience but it can really pay off, in terms of money and creativity.

Second, there is the issue of going to school in Lolita, unless you are home-schooled. You need to check your school rules to see if it would be acceptable to wear Lolita in the first place, if you plan too. If it is, go casual. I am not saying this because you should try to'fit in', I am saying this because it's just plain easier to go through a day of school in Lolita if it is casual, it's easier to walk around and concentrate on your schoolwork. Ditch the multiple petticoats, one is enough. A simple, small headbow is sometimes better than a large one. Wear your hair in simple pigtails or just wear it down. There are plenty of guides for casual Lolita if you need help such as this one.

Third, there is the possible issue of not being able to fit into most Lolita clothing if you are to small for it. Sewing is possibly the best option for this, or see if you can find someone to pay to make the Lolita clothes for you. As for the shoes I find most younger Lolitas are lucky, because there are plenty of cute Mary Janes available for younger Lolitas in normal stores as well as cute accessories! A simple look around your own closet could reveal a few Lolita appropriate pieces you already own.

Fourth, being a part of the Lolita community. Some Lolitas are less than nice, and a community like EGL may be very intimidating to a younger Lolita, it even is to some older Lolitas! Let me make it clear that you do not have to be a member of any Lolita community to be a Lolita. They are a great source of information however, and they can even be great for making new friends, but there are a few jerks out there. Ignore them. You do not need their approval or anyone else's to be a Lolita. I'm not about to say words don't hurt, let's face it, they do. But there are many bullies out there in the real world, just as there are online. Just be careful and be safe on the internet!

Fifth, I leave what is probably the biggest issue for the last. Parents. My parents, thankfully, always approved of the fashion, but some parents will not be so easily convinced. There are many things you can do to try and change their mind, but one of the most affective things is maturity. Prove that you are mature enough to wear the fashion and maybe they will let you, your attitude is the most important thing. As I have listed above, money is an issue, perhaps they don't allow you to wear Lolita because they think it is to expensive. Introduce them to cheaper stores like Bodyline and to the option of sewing and they might change their mind, but make sure to let them know you are willing to work for what you want, you can't expect them to buy you everything! Another issue may be that they find it a bit...unusual. This is understandable, looking like a giant walking cupcake isn't something you see everyday. In this case, you may want to start with introducing them to casual or classic Lolita, then work your way deeper into the fashion slowly, make sure you give them time to adjust to such a big change! Something else that may bother your parents is that they may not think you will actually wear such frilly clothes, especially if you don't usually dress that way. Prove to them you will by wearing nicer clothing on a daily basis, such as skirts and blouses, not just a ratty pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
Overall, you should just try and talk to them about it, let them know how much you love the style. Your parents probably care deeply about you and just want what's best for you, so just be patient with them.

I hope this article offers a bit of advice to younger Lolitas, but the best advice I can offer, is to not give up on being a Lolita, if that is truly what you want to be.
Love, Amelia Jane.