Bullying and the Lolita Community

I'm sure you've all heard of the Lolita hate "communities" out there. You know, where you can go and either anonymously bully other Lolitas back into submission, or gang up on them and do it all together. Hmmm...cowardly much? Then again, that's what bullies are, cowards.
I'm sick and tired of all the immature hatred that is going around, and I'm just going to be completely frank about it.

First of all, if you've ever been bullied by other Lolitas ( Or anyone for that matter ), don't worry about it. Everyone has made mistakes, INCLUDING those who have the nerve to bully others for making mistakes, and no one has the right to tell anyone else they aren't worthy of being a Lolita because of it. Don't let their "lolier than thou" attitude get to you and don't be afraid to try new things, at the end of the day your opinions matter just as much as theirs.

Second, if you yourself have a problem with another Lolita, just talk to THEM about it. There is no need to publicly humiliate them, it won't make the situation better and it certainly won't make you feel any better. It's not wrong to disagree with someone else or dislike something that they said or did, but bullying is wrong. You never know who might be struggling in real life - regardless of what they've done no one deserves to be bullied and hated, especially for things as trivial as a fashion and the internet.

Third, I'm not trying to pretend to be perfect myself, it's not as though I've never said a cruel word to someone else, but I've regretted it and so will anyone else who does the same thing. Sooner or later, you will regret it, and they will resent you for it. It won't get you anywhere either, would you listen to someone who humiliated and criticized you harshly? No, you wouldn't. There's a reason people are willingly to accept constructive criticism and not harsh criticism. If you want to tell someone that you feel they have done something wrong, do it nicely and you will get a million times farther than you would being hateful towards them.

And lastly, like I said, I'm not trying to pretend I myself am perfect. I don't wish to preach, I simply, like many others, wish for an end to the hatred of our own Lolita kind.

If you TL;DR - Practice what you learned in Kindergarten and treat others how you would like to be treated, because we've ALL made dumb mistakes.


  1. I think it's really imature of them to do that.
    Those people just have no life.


  2. Hi, I really like this post and I wish there were more like it! I agree that these people are not worth listening to, in fact I sometimes find it quite funny (even though they try their hardest to convince anyone that you care) but thanks anyway for your pm, thats very sweet of you ^^.
    I also think these girls need to get a life, in a way its a bit sad and I feel sorry for them. So thats why I kind of regret replying there, but anyway what is done is done.
    Mostly the Lolita community seems fine but from time to time I hear/see some nasty things , the secrets that make fun of others would be the most horrible example. Fortunately people can always choose to ignore it, but sometimes it looks like highschool to me, very mean and childish. Or, more like you said, kindergarten! There is nothing that triggers my "anger attacks" more than bullies, whether its online or offline, lol.

    take care & Merry christmas and a happy new year!

  3. I agree completely. I was very tempted to respond to it, but I know it wouldn't have done any good. People that mean usually don't listen to any sense whatsoever!
    And you're very welcome. :)


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