Finding Lolita Inspiration

( I JUST realized I hadn't made a single post yet this month. So sorry! I also apologize for this post not being about Mothers Day and for the fact that I still cannot post comments. I do read all of the comments and appreciate them, I just can't write back, sorry! )

 Ever feel bored with Lolita fashion? Before you post a "Leaving Lolita" sale on the sales comm, read through these tips to make sure you aren't just in need of a little Loli inspiration!

Watch Lolita Youtube videos

Here is a link to a playlist of Lolita videos I like to watch and take inspiration from, there are lots of Loli videos on Youtube and they are great for getting new ideas. You could come up with a new coordinate just by seeing someone else's, or feel like wearing your frills again when you see someone else having fun in theirs!

Look at some Lolita Tumblers

Little Lolita Moments, Lolita memes and You Know You're a Lolita When are only a few of the many Lolita Tumblers out there. Not only will you get a little laugh, you might just remember why you got into the fashion in the first place. Just looking at some of the Lolitas on Tumblr is also a wonderful inspiration, so many beautiful coordinates! 

Get some new clothes

 You might just be bored with wearing the same things. You don't have to purchase anything expensive, there are dresses from Bodyline for just 41 dollars ( and that's including shipping! ) and plenty of accessories just waiting for you at the mall. Just looking through a website that sells Lolita things can inspire you!

Give yourself a break

Maybe all you need is a little break from the fashion and subculture. That's perfectly fine, no one says you have to be a Lolita 24/7! 

Experiment

Perhaps you're sick of seeing the same old styles of Lolita. If so, why not try creating your own? Don't be afraid to experiment! Play with your clothes, see what works and looks good together, then wear it! Lolita fashion itself wouldn't be here if the ones who came up with it were afraid of wearing something new.

Make a list of what you love about Lolita

Make a list of your favorite parts of Lolita fashion. It could be anything - rose prints on classic dresses, Mary Jane shoes, a particular color or fabric you love, anything. Once you have that list, you know what you love the most and you might just have your inspiration for a coordinate! 

If you still end up feeling like you don't want to wear Lolita anymore, don't feel bad about it. Sometimes people change their styles and there is nothing wrong with that, but for your own sake, don't give up all of your Lolita clothes! You probably worked hard to get them and if you ever want to return to the fashion you don't want to have to start from scratch all over again! At least keep your favorite dress or skirt, one pair of shoes ( ones in white or black that will go with a lot, or your favorite pair ), one pair of bloomers, a white blouse and at least one petticoat if not two.

I Dare You

To use a term from Elementary school, I double-dog-dare you to be creative with your Lolita style.

I love the styles we already have, Classic, Gothic, Sweet, Kuro, Guro, you name it. Lolita has a style for every girl. Or is that so? It's true that Lolita fashion is very varied, but it's also true that it could be more varied. Lolita has some very unique styles, which is why it surprises me that sometimes when someone wants to try something new with the style, their ideas are shot down. "No, that could never work with Lolita, don't even bother trying it!" I'm sure this is what some people thought of Punk Lolita before it gained popularity.

So, I dare you to make your own style. I'm not saying you shouldn't wear what's already been invented of course, but why not be creative? You don't have to get it perfect the first time, you don't even have to post pictures of it online, just do it for you.

Or instead of creating your own style, why not wear one you've never tried before because you've been too afraid? If you love Sweet Lolita but are past your 20's, why not try it on anyway? Even if you aren't Asian, who says you can't wear Wa Loli? Even if someone has said you can't wear it, who cares?

My point is, if we shouldn't care about what other people think about how we dress, shouldn't that include other Lolitas? Of course you should listen to constructive criticism, but at the end of the day, how you dress is up to you. Not even other Lolitas have the right to tell you "No, you can't wear that.".

Humans are cowards in the face of happiness

"Humans are cowards in the face of happiness." I heard this quote from the movie Kamikaze Girls and at first I didn't believe it to be true. Who would be afraid of happiness? But then I thought about it, and it is true sometimes. Sometimes we're too afraid of what other people will think of us to do, wear, think ect. what we truly want. On the topic of wearing what we truly want, some people consider that selfish. Lolita clothing isn't exactly cheap ( even only buying replicas or Bodyline adds up ) especially if you want an entire wardrobe to wear everyday, so they say it's selfish to spend so much on yourself ( usually adding the whole "people are starving in Africa" argument or something similar to it ). Is it selfish to love yourself? These same people probably buy decorations for their home, beauty products, jewelry or other beautiful things that are not necessary when that money could've been spent on those less fortunate than they. Am I saying that's wrong? Not at all. Hypocritical yes, wrong, no. My point is, I don't consider Lolita fashion or any sort of fashion selfish in and of itself whatsoever. Selfishness is putting yourself ahead of others, not loving and expressing who you are.The sad thing is, I've seen some girls turn away from the fashion because even though they loved it, they thought it was selfish to spend so much on themselves.
I guess sometimes, sadly, we are cowards in the face of happiness after all.

Of course, Kamikaze Girls isn't exactly the best representation of the fact that Lolita fashion is not selfish, but it's a good movie nonetheless.

Good Enough

Everywhere you look, perfection is the standard of what a person should be. Mainstream society and even subcultures have developed an image of what perfection is, for the Lolita it is looking just like a porcelain doll and for other girls it may be looking like a Barbie doll. It's not just the image either, it's everything down to whether or not your own beliefs will offend someone else's.

This isn't something we should just sit back and allow. No one will ever be "good enough", because we won't ever be perfect. I hope everyone out there realizes that. Why? Because you're probably judging yourself by that same standard, too. I do it all the time, every day, I'm sure most of you do too, to think thoughts like "Maybe I shouldn't wear Lolita today, my hair doesn't look just right." or to wonder why you're even going to bother trying to do something great because there will always be someone out there better, smarter or prettier than you. Everyone makes mistakes no matter how much we try to deny it or cover it up, even the people you look at and wonder "How can he/she be so perfect?". I've finally come to a realization, and that is that I don't need anyone else's permission to be myself loud and proud.

And neither do you.

My mom always used to say to me that someone is going to find something to tease you about no matter what you do. So why even bother trying to please everyone? Go ahead and try, try to become whatever it is you feel led to become, be aware that people will always attempt to bring you down but in the end they can't stop you.

Courage

I'm back from my super-short hiatus! Ha, just a day later... *blush* I really thought I'd need more time to feel well enough to update  my blog after the emotional stress I've been under lately. Guess I bounce back pretty fast. o_o"

Anyways, I want to talk about something that really, really bugs me.

I really dislike it when people say "I love Lolita fashion, and I would wear it, but I live in ___. If I wanted to wear Lolita, I'd have to move to Japan!" Oh, really? Lolita is a growing fashion trend, more and more people know about it every day, and there are lots of Lolitas in countries other than Japan, and even in Japan, Lolitas are a minority. So if you feel that you can't wear Lolita because you don't live in Japan, let me ask you this - ...Who's stopping you? The answer is simple, ( Unless you happen to be under eighteen and your parents are stopping you, but I've covered this topic in the past and I might do that again in the future. ) you are the only one preventing yourself from wearing what you want to. No, it's not the person who might make fun of you, or glare at you, or laugh at you, it's you. I've said it before and I'll say it again, being a Lolita takes courage. Lots of Lolitas, absolutely no better than you are, wear Lolita regularly or perhaps even every day in places where it may not be socially accepted. They do not possess some sort of magical ability that allows them to wear the fashion without being stared at or mocked, they are people just like you. From my own experience, it's not nearly as bad as all the horror stories you might hear about Lolitas getting harassed, those are rare occurrences. Usually ( Again, from my own experiences. ) people will either simply stare, or actually go up to you and compliment you on what you are wearing!

So which would be worse, taking a little chance and wearing what makes you happy regardless of who might dislike it, or changing yourself to fit into societies little cookie cutter mold of what a girl like you should be? Which will make you happy? Just think about it.

Staying Inside the Lines

When you are young, you are taught that you can be whoever you want to be. Follow your dreams! Don't be afraid to be who you really are! As you grow older however, you are expected to be just like everyone else.

Where does this change come? At what point is it decided that since you are no longer young enough, you can't dress a certain way, think a certain way, or have fun like you used to? No more dressing in cute clothes, you have to dress sexy. No more playing, daydreaming or pretending, imagination is to childish for you now. When you turn eighteen, do your interests magically change into something more "mature" and socially acceptable? No. And it sounds ridiculous to think they do, doesn't it?

Of course your tastes will probably change as you grow older. You will lose interest in certain things and gain interest in others, that's only natural. But what if someone still likes a lot of the things they used to as a little girl? Is that so bad? Does it really make them immature to still have their collection of stuffed animals, or enjoy climbing trees, or playing with dolls, or dressing like one? In my opinion, maturity is being able to take responsibility for yourself and having respect for others, not having interests that are considered mature by the rest of society. You can be a perfectly mature adult, and still love the things you did when you were a child. It does not mean you are living in a fantasy world, it means you are exactly who you want to be. Who says you have to lose the imagination you had when you were a kid? Who says you have to give up on having fun, or following your dreams, or even just dressing the way you want to?

I don't care if you are one hundred years old, there is no reason you shouldn't be able to follow your dreams and do what you want to. Anyone who says otherwise is probably just bitter that they themselves don't have the courage to do what they want. It's easy to give into what society wants you to be, to fit into that little cookie cutter mold that they want you to fit into, it's hard to be who you are in a society that shuns anything and anyone who is different from them. It takes real courage to not give up and to stand up for yourself and what you believe. Could you truly be happy living a lie by not being who you really are? It may be the easier way... but it will never make you happy.

No one has the right to tell you who to be, how to dress, or what to think. In the end, that's up to you.


Love, Amelia Jane.